


Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned

by Lenatoutcourt



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Priests, Dead Fiona Gallagher, Dead Frank Gallagher, Dead Lip Gallagher, Dead Monica Gallagher, Gallaghers are dead, Homophobia, I got a priest kink, M/M, Mention of suicide of side character, Mentioned Frank Gallagher, Mentioned Monica Gallagher, Priest Kink, Priest Sex, Priest!kink, Priests, Semi-Public Sex, Sex in a Church, Virgin Ian Gallagher, Virgin!Ian, allusion to conversion therapy, priest!ian, sexy priest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:14:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28245258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lenatoutcourt/pseuds/Lenatoutcourt
Summary: Ian is determined to dedicate his life to God, but his conviction is violently shaken when Mickey Milkovich bursts into his church.
Relationships: Ian Gallagher & Mickey Milkovich, Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich
Comments: 6
Kudos: 126
Collections: Gallavich Holiday 2020





	Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned

**Author's Note:**

  * For [babyymikhailo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/babyymikhailo/gifts).



> A little note before we start, this fanfic is about priest-kink, if this is a tense subject for you to stop right there.
> 
> If you believe in God, I am in no way trying to offend you, and I apologize if I do.
> 
> For information, the text of the magazine I use below is taken from a real magazine that was distributed to several high schools around the world, I did not invent anything about this part.
> 
> I hope you like this story inspired by this amazing fanart from @ArtofOBSESSION (twitter) commissioned by @babyymikhailo.  
> https://twitter.com/ArtofOBSESSION/status/1335284204121202688 (attention, uncensored version 🔞🔞🔞)
> 
> Is this an appropriate gift for Christmas? I am not sure, and I don’t care (ᗒᗨᗕ)  
> and thanks Michelle for the last minute proofreading ♡＾▽＾♡

In the early years of his life, like many children living in his neighborhood, God was far from Ian Gallagher’s concerns.

His parents had never even set foot in a church, except if you take into account the church they were married to in Las Vegas. But it was unlikely that this place could really be counted as a place of worship.

Ian himself had never been interested in religion as a child and did not understand his schoolmates who wasted their time going to Sunday school rather than using this time for much funnier and more useful activities.

Ian's worldview changed dramatically, however, overnight. The night he lost his home, his parents, and his siblings. 

All swept up in the explosion at the meth lab set up by his parents in the basement of the house.

The rescuers found the young boy in the wreckage of the van, usually parked in the Gallaghers' garden, but thrown by the explosion against the neighboring house.

Ian had gotten into the habit of sleeping in the van on summer nights to avoid having to share his room with his older brother Lip, and that was what saved him.

Many would have talked about luck, but that was not how the man who picked Ian up from the hospital presented it to him.

For him, it was not a question of luck, but of the will of God. It was God who had started the explosion of the lab killing sinners Frank and Monica Gallagher, and it was again God who had saved Ian from this tragic fate to allow him to access a better life, far from the bad influence of his parents.

It was with this speech that Father McGregor welcomed Ian into his home before explaining to him that from that day forward they would live together, and that like him, Ian would have to abide by the rules dictated by the church.

Driven by fear and sadness, Ian used his first night at Father McGregor's house to try to escape and return home.

Even though everyone since waking up in the hospital kept telling him over and over again that his family was dead, he couldn't imagine such a thing. And it wasn't until he got to the plot where his house stood before, and now filled with ruins, that he realized that he had not been lied to.

Father McGregor found him in the early hours of the next day, thanks to several volunteers from his church, and made Ian regret his nocturnal escapade.

Even if the idea of staying with this man did not appeal to him, Ian had understood that now without a family, he could not do otherwise if he did not want to live alone on the streets, and that he had to adapt if he didn't want to be punished again, or worse, be sent to someone else's house, at the risk of running into someone worse than Father McGregor.

From that day on, God took a central place in Ian's life. First out of a desire to survive, then out of conviction.

And after years of living by the rules of God and Father McGregor, he saw his life no other way than in God service, like the man who had educated him.

It was the only logical choice he saw for his future. And now that he only had a few weeks left before entering the seminary and he was more impatient than ever.

*-*-*

“Fuck!” Mickey growled breathlessly, pressing his back against the building's emergency exit.

He checked around that no one was waiting for him in the parking lot, and reassured, tilted his head back and closed his eyes for a second, hoping that with any luck no one had seen him come out of the building.

"That asshole went that way." A voice yelled from across the door.

Knowing he was the asshole they were talking about, Mickey automatically opened his eyes and rushed out of the parking lot, hoping to outrun his pursuers.

Knowing he was closely followed, he looked around for a building he could hide in. And a smile lit his face when he saw the church around the corner.

He ran to the entrance, convinced that no one would ever look for him in such a place.

Luckily, none of the locals seemed to have been seized with a sudden urge to pray that morning, so the main hall was completely empty.

Wanting at all costs to put the odds on his side, and because he would really hate to be caught after all his efforts, Mickey looked around him for a place to hide, and smiled even more, when he noticed the confessional set up in the corner of the room.

He barely had time to sit down and close the door behind him when a huge noise echoed throughout the room.

"Mickey!”

Mickey could have recognized Gerry's voice without any difficulty.

Gerry had managed over the past few years to recruit enough men under his command to send them to rob houses all over town without even having to lift a finger.

He had raised quite a bit of money and having worked for him before, Mickey knew perfectly well where and when he had to strike to get some of that dough.

Having already put the money safe, all he had to do was stay hidden for a while, then disappear with his dough, and enjoy his new life away from this city and all that shit.

Unfortunately, even if the first part of his plan had gone rather well, the rest of the operations were a little more complicated. And now that Gerry and his men had entered the church, it wouldn't take long for them to get their hands on him.

"What are you doing here?!? This is the house of God and I would not tolerate such a fuss here! "

Mickey arched an eyebrow, intrigued by that unfamiliar voice that had just risen against his pursuers.

Seeing Gerry, it was not difficult to understand what kind of person he was, and that it was best to stay away from him to avoid trouble. So it was very rare that someone dared to talk to him like that.

“Get out or I call the police!”

Mickey tried the best he could to resist the urge to open the confessional door to observe the scene from the other side, and quench his curiosity as to the identity of the man who had just screamed.

He heard a few screams from Gerry and his men, but very quickly the growls faded into silence.

Mickey jumped when he heard a door creak next to him, and turned his head when he heard a shape move on the other side of the grate in the wall of the confessional.

"Guess you are the man they were looking for."

Mickey felt his pulse quicken, echoing throughout his body. His instincts told him to run away, but something else urged him to stay.

"Are you going to denounce me, Father?

“No need to call me that, I’m not a priest yet, I’m just assisting Father McGregor. And no, I won't denounce you, but I can only encourage you to surrender to the authorities if you have done something illegal. "

A little reassured by the words of the man next to him, but also more and more intrigued by this guy, Mickey settled down on the small stool in the cabin and fixed all his attention on the silhouette of the man which he could see on the other side of the grid.

“Who said I did something illegal? It’s not very Catholic of you to think that about a man you don’t even know... ”

Ian could not suppress a smile at the audacity of his interlocutor but also appreciated his fairness.

"If you can promise me that you have never broken any rule of men or of God, I promise to apologize."

Mickey chuckled at the suggestion. 

He put his arms crossed on the small support under the grid separating him from this man and questioned him, puzzled.

"Are you trying to make me believe that you have never broken any of these laws?"

"None, indeed." Ian replied calmly.

Mickey had never been an altar boy, and had never even set foot in a church other than a few weddings and funerals. But he still had, like everyone else, some notions of what was considered bad by the church.

"Have you never lied?"

"No."

"Steal?"

"Surely not."

"Oh! Isn't there some kind of rule that says you can't have sex before marriage?" He questioned convinced that no one was able to follow this stupid rule.

Ian nodded before clarifying.

“The church does indeed encourage the practice of abstinence before marriage, and total chastity for those wishing to enter into orders.”

"Wait! Does that mean you're a virgin?!?"

Even through the grid, Mickey had no trouble noticing the red that had taken over Ian's cheeks, disturbed by his question.

It was unthinkable to young Milkovich, that a man could have reached this age by remaining a virgin, even though he believed in God. 

Which left only two possibilities, either this guy was lying or he had some dysfunction down there.

“I would ask you to speak less loudly... You are in the house of God. ”

"Are you really a virgin?" Mickey asked, very uninterested in Ian's reprimand.

“I have decided to dedicate my life to God.”

Can't bear to see only through this grid, Mickey walked out of the confessional and threw open the door leading to the central section.

This guy's claim seemed all the harder to believe now that he could see him without obstacle blocking his view.

This man was, without a doubt, the living fantasy of many men and women and must have received many indecent proposals.

"You can't-"

"Calm down, I'm leaving." Mickey promised, cutting off Ian in his tracks.

"Are you going to go to the police to confess your crimes?" Ian asked, not really believing it.

“Nope, don't count on it. But I may confess them to someone else... But it will surely take a long time, I have committed a lot of sins... "

Ian blushed fiercely as he easily imagined the sins he could talk about, amusing Mickey even more.

"See you next time Father-"

“I'm not a priest,” Ian corrected instinctively, poking his head out of the confessional to watch his visitor run for the exit.

Mickey turned his hand on the doorknob and took one last look in the direction of the confessional with a mischievous little smile.

He had to leave for now but had no doubts he would come back.

* - * - *

Ian closed his eyes hoping to fall asleep quickly. 

He knew that the next day would probably be busy and that he needed a good night's sleep to get through. Unfortunately for him, neither his mind nor his body seemed ready to cooperate.

He did his best to ignore the bulge in his underpants, loathing the thought of having such a primary and degrading reaction when all his thoughts were on the man he saw this morning.

As he had told him, he was indeed chaste, as one would expect of a clergyman. But that didn't stop him from having some of the most obscene thoughts, especially tonight.

He usually got rid of these impure thoughts by putting all his strength into his prayers. 

But he doubted he would achieve such a miracle today, so much his whole mind was turned to this man and the malicious smile he had displayed before leaving the church.

Ian knew it, he was bad to be physically attracted to another man, and he hated himself for it. 

When he asked the question, Father McGregor had explained to him the source of this dangerous attraction. 

This was the devil's work, and it was by turning to God that a man, drawn to these impure feelings, would understand that they are just a mirage compared to the love a man feels for a woman and that men feel for God.

However, despite all his will and all his prayers, Ian had never been able to help but feel this attraction to men, only men, and this without ever being able to control the panic in his heart.

Knowing he was about to crack, he pressed his hands to the mattress and slid them under his thighs to prevent himself from moving any further and succumbing to the temptation that was devouring him.

Far from having the desired effect, this move had on the contrary made the situation worse.

By first sliding his hands under his buttocks to reach the top of his thighs, Ian had, unfortunately, pulled his boxers a little lower than desired, and its elastic was now pressing against the top of his erection.

Feeling the taut fabric against his glans, he first thought of releasing one of his hands to get dressed before stopping abruptly, doubting his ability to control himself if he ever brought his hand closer to his crotch.

He tried to slide his whole body against the mattress, hoping to pull up his pants without using his hands, but again that only made the situation even worse.

With a jump, he straightened up and yanked the blanket off him. 

And hoping that the light miraculously chases away all his impure cravings, he violently pressed his hand against the switch above his bed, but with the sole result to make visible the wet stain that had formed on the front of his boxers and immediately filled him with shame.

He jumped up, grabbed his clothes from the chair next to his bed, and rushed out of his room, trying to make as little noise as possible despite his condition.

Once in the bathroom, he locked the door behind him, dropped his clothes on the floor, and rushed into the shower without even removing his boxers.

He opened the water supply wide, setting the temperature to the coldest, and stood totally still until he felt his whole body shake.

Despite the temperature of the water, he couldn't ignore the envy that inhabited him, amplified by the contact of the wet fabric against his hard cock.

He banged his fist against the shower wall, hoping that at least the pain would chase this horrible temptation away from him.

He had to repeat his gesture several times, to finally, exhausted and frozen, he finally felt his body calm down slowly.

* - * - *

Mickey knew that if he wanted to escape Gerry and his men he had to be smarter than them. And since everything indicated that he was going to seek to disappear as soon as possible and as far as possible, he was planning on sticking around a little longer.

His plan was simple, he would let them look for him everywhere and move heaven and earth to find out where he might have gotten away, and wait until they finally gave up before escaping out of that damn town with his dough.

So he had to find a safe place to spend some time before disappearing, and he knew exactly where to find it.

This guy whose name he didn't even know, who called himself a non-priest but wore the habit, had haunted his thoughts all night.

This man was far too good-looking to be a priest, and far too attractive to honestly be able to claim to be chaste without lying.

It was just impossible for someone like him to really be a virgin, and he was determined to make this man confess his lie.

The place was all the more secure, since, after the humiliation of being kicked out in this way, it was unlikely that Gerry would set foot in this church again any time soon, making this place the safer spot in town for Mickey.

* - * - *

Hands clasped, elbows resting on the desk, knees on the ground, and eyes closed, Ian prayed with all his might to be forgiven for his impure thoughts of the night before and to be able to better control himself in the face of temptation.

"Is that what you spend your days on?"

Ian shuddered when he heard that voice he recognized immediately.

Rather than raising his head to face the visitor, he kept the same position, intensifying his prayers in the hope that they would help him face this new visit.

"I was thinking, since I am not going to go to the police for confession, maybe I can do it here... You know, to save my soul or something like that."

Mickey had no trouble perceiving the tension that seized the young man in front of him and smiled delighted. He leaned towards him until his mouth was inches from his ear, and whispered.

“It would be better to move to a more private place…”

Ian straightened up immediately and moved away from Mickey before realizing he had moved way too fast not to look suspicious and try to regain some presence.

Mickey leaned towards him, even more, amused by his reaction.

“If you want we can also stay there, but I'm not sure it's a good thing that everyone hears what I have to say… It might give them bad ideas.”

“It would be better if you confessed to Father McGregor. As I told you yesterday I am not yet a priest- ”

"Are you refusing to help the poor sinner that I am?"

Even though Ian knew that Mickey was only doing this to manipulate him, he couldn't honestly refuse his request.

Not knowing what to say, he decided to just stay silent, and reached out towards the confessional, encouraging Mickey to move forward.

By reflex, Mickey indicated to Ian to pass in front of him, and could only congratulate himself when he could observe the muscles of Ian's back which took shape under his shirt, and the curve of his buttocks strangely highlighted by his outfit.

Ian settled in the center part of the confessional and took a deep breath before releasing the cover blocking the grid.

“I'm listening…” Ian asserted, playing nervously with his fingers.

"Wouldn't it be fairer for me to at least know who I'm going to confess to? I don't even know your name. Unless you lost it when you became an almost priest, I think everyone has one. "

Mickey's remark made Ian smile. Even though this man was temptation personified, he couldn't deny that he made him laugh and that was something that only happened to him very infrequently in recent years.

“My name is Ian. And your name is? ”

“I'm Mickey. Tell me, Ian, what makes a guy like you want to be a priest? "

Although again tried to correct the fact that he was not a priest, Ian preferred to refocus the discussion on the young man's sins rather than talk about his personal life.

“It seems to me that we are here to talk about you and not about me.”

Not convinced by the self-confidence Ian was trying to give himself, Mickey chuckled. If he preferred to talk about him and his sins, he would be served.

“If I don't make a mistake, premarital sex is a sin… isn't it?

“The church encourages to remain a virgin until marriage indeed.”

“For example, is getting a blowjob a sin too? Or a rimjob? And if you do it from behind, does it matter? Why would anyone want to ban something so good? I'm already hard just thinking about the last cock I felt inside me. The feeling you get when you-"

"Stop!"

Ian's face was redder than ever. And if until now Mickey had the clear impression that the young man was interested in men without having any tangible proof, he was now completely convinced of it. It was not embarrassment that he read on his face but envy.

Ian felt his heart race when he saw Mickey move on the other side of the grid. He couldn't tell if he was panicking to see him leave or to see him stay.

Mickey quickly opened the central door, revealing to his delight a totally panicked Ian, and slipped inside before closing behind him.

"What the-" Ian growled, straightening up before being cut off by Mickey.

"If you speak so loud someone is going to come and see and it will be difficult for you to explain the situation..."

Ian knew Mickey was trying to threaten him by bringing up this possibility, but if he had to be honest with himself it was more the uncontrollable urge to go further that made him stay there.

Even though Mickey was visibly beefy, Ian was just as strong and knew he wouldn't really have a hard time pushing him back.

Mickey moved closer to Ian until there was only a small gap between them.

“Is it really honest to forbid something you've never done? Unless you lied to me and you're not that chaste. ”

Mickey pressed his hand against the inside of Ian's thigh before slowly sliding it up to his crotch.

Ian could feel his erection pressing against the zips of his pants. Mickey's caresses only making the situation worse. And if he continued like this, it wouldn't take long for Mickey to realize his condition.

Father McGregor's many sermons came back to him but faced with the wonderful feelings Mickey awakened in him, they were no match.

A nearby creaking door echoed in the great hall, and immediately Ian froze as if caught up in reality.

Realizing that what had been between the two of them was now totally gone, Mickey pulled back, allowing Ian to hide, as best as possible, his body's reaction to Mickey's caresses.

"I think I'd better go." Mickey said amused.

Although the thought of being caught in an embarrassing situation with Ian in this confessional did not displease him, this kind of event would inevitably come to Gerry's ears.

“I would come back later for the rest of my sins.” He promised before exiting the confessional, leaving Ian alone and more disturbed than ever.

* - * - *

Ian was sure now, Mickey was dangerous on so many levels. 

Because of him, Ian was once again overwhelmed with strong thoughts and impure desires.

He knew in advance that telling Father McGregor would only create more of a problem for him, especially since he was planning to enter the seminary soon.

The young man used to turn to prayer and Bible reading when faced with such questioning, however, this was not an easy exercise that would quickly provide him with the desired answers.

Without much of a goal in mind, he began to wander around the church, looking for any sign that could help him understand and overcome what he was going through.

He stopped as he reached Father McGregor's office, attracted by the display on which was arranged various practical magazines, written in particular to answer the questions of young people and atheists.

He grabbed the magazine that had caught his attention, which he had seen so many times in Father McGregor's hands and which he had also read in his youth. He quickly flips through the first few pages until he comes across the passage he was looking for.

-Homosexuality often results from a psychological development marked by the excessive or insufficient influence of the father or the mother in childhood; or as a result of adult perversions that have caused same-sex attraction, or fear of the other sex.

Nobody chooses a homosexual tendency, and one is not particularly happy about it. That is why homosexual people deserve our full consideration.

If you have a homo tendency, you may be homo-sensitive or homophile, that is to say, inclined towards your fellow man (this happens in adolescence). But do not define yourself by this tendency, which is not irremediable and can be overcome.

Do not activate this tendency by taking action. To feel is not to consent. The gear can be fatal because our actions confirm and develop our tendencies.

Today, some claim that homosexuality is normal. However, sexual fulfillment is totally possible only in the otherness of man/woman, which is psychological as well as physical. This diversity is a richness that is difficult to erase! This is why homosexuality will always be problematic for sexual and marital development, and for the development of children.-

Ian slammed the magazine shut, more disgusted and confused than ever. He remembered reading these texts when he was younger, and also remembered the fear they had aroused in him.

According to these writings, he was disturbed, ill, and deceived by false feelings.

According to the author of these words, the panicked beating of his heart when Mickey had approached him, and the reaction of his body to his words and his caresses, were none other than deceptions of his sick mind.

He remembered easily believing those few paragraphs years ago and hating himself for how he felt. Today he was having a hard time believing what was written on those pages.

To him, God was good and loved all of his children, no matter how imperfect they were.

He believed in doing everything to try to improve, in always striving to do better, but he found it hard to see how a shared love could be called evil.

Rather than giving him answers, this magazine created only more questions for him.

* - * - *

Unable to stay in the church any longer, Mickey had been forced to take refuge at a friend's. At least if he could call him that.

Victor liked him enough to let him stay in his house for a while, but above all feared him enough not to denounce him to Gerry.

But even though he had a roof over his head, a beer in his hand, and a huge TV in front of him to distract himself, he couldn't think of anything other than this fucking church and this almost-priest.

Ian was far too attractive and too well-equipped to be a priest.

A huge loss for all the homosexuals on this earth.

In the hopes that this will help clear his mind, Mickey finishes his beer straight before getting up to look for another in the fridge.

“Victor ! There's no more beer!”

"Whose fault?!?" Victor growled back before immediately regretting his audacity at the expression on Mickey's face.

"I'll go buy some after work." He promised, putting on his jacket.

Little decided to wait for Victor to return to drink, Mickey got up and walked past him to leave the house.

"Where are you going?"

"Drink."

“What about Gerry?”

Mickey smirked trying to imagine Gerry screwing his feet up in The Alibi Room.

"Believe me, there's little chance he's going to step into the slum I'm thinking of."

* - * - *

Pushing open the door of the bar, Mickey quickly looked around the room to check that no man from Gerry was there, and after reassuring himself, settled down a few seats from Kermit and Tommy, two regulars of the place.

“I didn't expect to see you here Milkovich. Gerry is looking for you everywhere... ”

Mickey turned to face the two men and smirked.

"What can that do to you? Are you going to rat on me, Tommy? ”

Knowing that Mickey's reputation was all too well, Tommy could hardly see himself denouncing him to Gerry, but for all that, his attitude annoyed him almost enough to make him forget his survival instinct.

Kermit tugged on his friend's sleeve, hoping to get him to focus more on his drink than on Mickey.

Kevin stood in front of them, hoping that his massive build was enough to calm them all, and put a beer in front of Mickey.

“Come on come on, everyone calm down. If there's even one more fight in this bar when V left me alone in charge, I'm going to get screwed. "

“What have you done with your balls Kev? Since when is wifey in charge?"

"Can you repeat what you just said, Tommy? I didn't hear very well I think..."

Tommy tensed and winced as he understood his mistake. He turned slowly to Veronica who had just entered the bar and put on his best smile, hoping that she wouldn't kick him out, or worse, tell his wife about it.

"I was saying that for a joke V, you know me..."

"Jokes are supposed to be funny." The young woman asserted, settling behind the bar.

"You sound like you're in bad mood." Kermit pointed out before immediately regretting his intervention.

"I ran into Madame Markovich-"

“No wonder you're in a bad mood then. This old skin is unbearable. ”

Veronica glared at Tommy, making him realize once again that he should have turned his tongue in his mouth seven times before speaking.

“Her son died this morning. They found him hanged. ”

This time, no one had the nerve to say anything. Kev pulled out five small glasses, which he quickly filled. He grabbed one and held it up, declaring.

“To Tony Markovich.”

The others followed suit, with varying degrees of compassion, but undoubtedly a genuine interest in free alcohol.

“Do we know when the funeral will take place?” Kermit asked.

“She didn't know yet. From what I understood she had to go to church to find out when there would be a possibility. "

Tommy handed his empty glass to Kev, hoping that by some miracle he would agree to refill it for him, but to no avail.

"Did she tell you who would take care of the funeral?"

Disturbed by his over-carried interest Tommy turned to Kermit, judging him with his eyes before refocusing on his beer and asserting in a monotonous voice.

"Father McGregor will surely take care of it."

He felt all eyes fall on him and looked up to check on him.

"What?!?"

“I don't know which of you two is the weirder… The one who asks too many questions, or the one who weirdly has answers. How long have you known a priest Tommy? ”

"I probably know more priests than you Mickey! Since when haven't you set foot in a church? "

Despite the situation, Mickey couldn't suppress a smile at Tommy's question and brought his beer to his lips in an attempt to hide his amusement, letting him continue.

“He was the one who helped Ms. Markovich when her son thought he was gay. It was thanks to him that he went to this camp and they healed him."

Mickey instinctively tightened his fingers around his drink as he heard Tommy say such bullshit so convincingly.

"What are you talking about?" Kev asked intrigued.

“He's talking about homophobic assholes who think they can decide who people can like. And I'm warning you, if I hear one of you defending those bastards in my bar, I'll get him out of here by the skin of his balls. "

A little ashamed, and above all frightened, Tommy lowered his head.

Kermit leaned over to his friend and questioned him in a low voice.

"Wasn't Father McGregor the one who took in the young Gallagher?"

“Hmmm.”

"Who are you talking about?" Kev asked, amazed by the name he didn't know.

Even though it had only been a few years since he moved into the neighborhood with V, it was rare for a family to live in the area without at least one of their members being a regular in his bar.

“Ian Gallagher! Frank Gallagher's son. ”

All of a sudden, Mickey’s full attention was caught up with those few words. He didn't know Ian's last name, but had the unpleasant feeling that it was him they talk about.

“Frank and Monica Gallagher were legends in the area. But one day they blew up their house completely because of a meth lab in the basement. The explosion killed them instantly and also killed two of their children. Only the youngest survived. ”

"You're sure it wasn't Frank who made a fake explosion to fake his death?"

"What are you talking about?!? Even Frank Gallagher wouldn't be able to do such a thing! ”

Too disturbed by what he had just heard to sit there, Mickey put a note on the counter to pay for his beer and quickly left the bar without another word.

He knew the history of the Gallagher family but hadn't made the connection with Ian.

It’s instinctively hard to imagine one of Frank and Monica’s children as a priest.

It's also hard to imagine the childhood he could have had after losing his whole family and being taken in by this asshole who still thought that homosexuals were abominations of nature to be healed.

What wasn't hard to imagine, on the contrary, were the reasons that pushed Ian so much to control his cravings.

The same reasons that had probably pushed Tony to kill himself after having to undergo these fucking therapy.

Even if in Mickey's eyes Ian was still largely a stranger, and he was not responsible for the young man's choices, he still couldn't silence that little voice in his head that kept repeating to him. that Ian was going to suffer through his fault.

“Fucking shit!”

* - * - *

Guilt wasn't a feeling Mickey was used to. All his life he had managed to sidestep responsibility for his actions as if nothing had happened, convinced that what happened to others was of no concern to him. However, now he found it hard to bear the thought of what could happen to Ian through his own fault if he continued with his original plan.

He first had to think about just avoiding the church until he left Chicago, thus avoiding Ian and the unpleasant feelings of guilt that now accompanied Mickey when he thought of the young man. 

Unfortunately for him, this idea did not seem feasible given the number of times per minute that Ian occupied his thoughts. It was all the more difficult to imagine leaving Chicago without seeing Ian one last time, easily imagining the questions that were sure to trouble the far too innocent young man after his disappearance.

Driven by envy, and by a newly discovered conscience, Mickey had reached the footsteps of the church. He took a deep breath, his hand resting on the doorknob.

"Okay, now that you're here, you just have to go inside... But just to check that he hasn't done something stupid because of you. You go in and go out. If he's stupid enough to waste his life becoming a priest, that's his choice. It has nothing to do with you. You don't even really know him… ”

"Mom look, he is weird, he talks alone."

Mickey turned to the pointing kid just in time to see her mother panicking, hugging her, and striding away.

"Fuck and now you're talking to yourself!" Mickey growled before instinctively checking around that no one had overheard this second monologue.

A little reassured, and knowing that he couldn't put this off a moment much longer, he pushed open the church door.

Not seeing Ian in the room, he walked a little further towards the center of the place and stopped dead when he saw him exit the confessional.

Despite noticing Mickey's presence, Ian took it upon himself to accompany Ms. Markovich to the exit.

He turned around to find Mickey near the confessional, but unlike other times, he had instead settled on a bench in the middle of the room.

"Why are you there?" Ian asked when he got to Mickey's level.

Even though his gut told him that Ian was talking about this exact location rather than in the church, Mickey decided it was best to play ignorant.

"I told you that I will be back… I'm leaving tomorrow morning, so this will be my last visit."

"Leaving? Where?"

"Don't we teach priests school that curiosity is a bad thing?" Mickey snarled instinctively, flustered at his own resolve to keep Ian away from his problematic lifestyle.

Ian found it hard to understand this change in attitude in Mickey. 

And that was all the more annoying as it went totally against the decision he had made.

After reading this stupid magazine, and questioning his faith and his conscience, he decided to test himself once again and check once and for all if his feelings were really impure. 

And if Mickey did act like that, it might be more difficult than expected. 

If he wanted to be able to confront his doubts, he was going to have to take the lead.

“Indeed. Likewise for the Envy, the lust, the pride, the avarice, the anger, the gluttony, or the laziness. As far back as I can remember, after turning to God, I have never felt anything like this… I don't understand what has changed." Ian asserted before he hated his lack of subtlety.

A little too bothered by Ian's statement, Mickey shifted onto the bench, putting a little more space between them.

"Pretend nothing has changed, and everything will go back to how it was before."

"I don't know if it would be fair of me to dedicate my existence to God if I keep this questioning all my life."

Mickey had the unsettling feeling that all of a sudden the tables had turned, and that the normally shy Ian was now picking up on him as clumsily as a man who had never known anyone could. And it wasn't the urge to let him do that, far from it.

Ian rested his gaze on Mickey's lips. 

Seeing the young man, he felt his heart start to beat harder and faster. 

As he spoke with him, he had felt a soft warmth rise in the lower part of his stomach. 

By smelling his cologne, he wanted to come a little closer to him. 

And now that his gaze had rested on his mouth, he was dying to kiss him.

Confronting Mickey again he wanted to check if the emotions he was feeling around him were real, or just the fruit of his sick mind as some seemed to think. At the moment everything he was feeling seemed terribly real and way too good to stop.

“It seemed to me that you were pretty decided.” Mickey pointed out before looking around.

They were just the two of them in the large room, and he felt his heart race at the thought.

“Looks like you're scared…”

“We'll see who's scared.” Mickey said, stung by Ian's remark.

He grabbed the latter's collar and pulled it close to kiss him, but stopped just before their mouths met, stopped dead by the deafening sound of church bells echoing throughout the building.

Realizing how dangerous what he was about to do was, Mickey, leaned back on the bench, putting space between himself and Ian again.

The latter understanding his reaction stood up and walked slowly to the confessional before giving Mickey one last look and closing the door behind him.

For Ian things were clear.

If Mickey didn't come to join him, he would see it as a sign from God and do everything possible to forget him.

If, on the other hand, he joined him, that would be the test he needed.

If as explained to him he realized that his emotions were skewed and that he succeeded in pushing Mickey aside, then he would turn to the priestly life without any remorse.

And if, on the contrary, he proved unable to push him away he could only infer that his faith was not great enough or that the God the church presented to him was different from the one he wanted to believe.

If his feelings were real and genuine, then there was no reason he couldn't love freely.

The cabin door swung open, and Mickey rushed into the small space before closing the door behind him.

"What the hell am I supposed to say? Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned? "

Ian had no doubts that Mickey was a sinner, and right now he felt close to becoming one by his side. He gave a delighted smile and grabbed the back of Mickey's neck to pull him close and kiss him hard.

Mickey pushed him back against the wall, breaking their kiss, and causing panic in Ian's mind.

"Let me teach you how to kiss."

Mickey put his hand on Ian's shoulder and told him to sit on the small wooden stool in the alcove.

He settled down against of him and gripped the hair tightly at the back of his head to make him lift his head and fix his gaze on him.

He descended gently against Ian until their mouths could finally meet, and savored with amusement the impatience Ian displayed as he kept trying to kiss him passionately.

"Don't move." He ordered in a soft voice.

He gently pressed their mouths together and slid his tongue between his lips before sliding it against Ian's half-open mouth. Ian pressed his tongue against Mickey's, mesmerized by the sensations such a simple kiss gave him. He can’t believe he already got a half boner just because of a simple kiss.

Ian knew that to be as good kisser as he was, Mickey had to kiss a lot of the men in his life. Hoping to chase this unpleasant jealousy away from him, Ian pressed his hands against the back of Mickey's thighs to pull him against him.

Mickey let out a small moan of surprise, quickly choked by Ian's mouth against his.

Even though Ian claimed to be chaste and still a virgin, now that he had calmed down a bit, his kisses felt quite different, to the point of causing Mickey to question Ian's words.

Once again Mickey pulled back just enough to be out of reach of Ian's lips, much to Ian's dismay.

He ran his hand through Ian's hair, then down his neck before stroking his fingertips against the black and white collar of his shirt and the chain of his rosary.

As if hypnotized, Ian stared intently at Mickey, struggling against the irrepressible urge to pounce on him and capture between his lips that tongue that the young Milkovich amused himself by ostensibly sliding from one corner of his mouth to the other.

Mickey slowly ran his hands down Ian's arms, stroking the young man's muscles with his fingertips.

Ian was convinced, Mickey was doing everything he could to go as slowly as possible, pushing him a little harder with every additional second.

"You shouldn't be in such a hurry ..." Mickey whispered, trying to hide as best as possible his own urge from Ian.

Mickey didn't generally take his time in these kinds of circumstances. He preferred when it was quick and brutal rather than smooth and honeyed. With anyone else, he would have already had his pants down to his ankles, and probably would have collapsed half the confessional already.

However, if one of them did not stay alert enough, they would undoubtedly draw attention to themselves.

Besides, according to Ian, this was his first time, and maybe even his last too, and even if Mickey did not feel invested with a divine mission, he did not intend to botch the work and leave a memory in halftone.

“Kiss me…”

Ian could not recognize the sound of his own voice, much hoarser than usual, and had a hard time accepting finding himself begging Mickey like this, however, he could not deny the fact that he was dying to kiss him again, and more.

The sensations he felt were far too sweet to be impure.

Mickey moved closer to Ian, put one leg in each side, and settled himself astride his thighs, pressing their bodies together again.

Ian wrapped an arm around his waist to keep him from slipping away and put his free hand on the back of Mickey's head to seal their mouths together again.

Mickey wrapped his arms around Ian's neck and slid his butt against his thighs in a throbbing and dangerous movement.

He felt Ian squeeze him a little tighter before he panicked and pulled back enough that he couldn't kiss him anymore.

He now had a shifty gaze and a strange mixture of fear and shame was on his face.

"What?"

The red flushed Ian's cheeks, and Mickey looked down to confirm his hunch before smiling sweetly.

"Sorry." Ian apologized, consumed with shame.

"It is nothing. I take it as a compliment... "

Mickey put a hand under Ian's chin and forced him to lift his head to look him in the eye.

"If you think you can go again quickly, we continue ..."

Mickey felt himself pushed back and for a second he thought he was going to bang on the cabin door. Ian stopped him just in time, however, and without a word knelt in front of him, making Mickey panic a little more.

He calmed down, however, as he understood a little more what Ian had in mind, and an amused smile spread across his face as the young man hurried to undo the tie of his pants.

"I take that for a yes." Mickey said quietly as he stroked Ian's cheek with his thumb, totally excited to see Ian in his priest outfit go down on him.

Looking up at Mickey, Ian felt like he had never seen anything so sexy, even in his dreams, and he wasn't going to let his chance pass.

Although he had never been with anyone before, he still had a pretty clear idea of what to do, even though the sensations were far beyond what he had imagined.

But even though he had an idea of how to act and what to do, there was a big difference between theory and practice.

He probably would never have another chance if he missed this one, and he wasn't even sure he wanted another chance if it was with anyone other than Mickey.

Understanding the doubt in Ian, Mickey slid his hand until it reached the young man's, drawing his attention at the same time.

He slowly moved Ian's hand up to his mouth and gently slid his thumb between his fingers, keeping only his index and middle fingers straight.

Without taking his eyes off Ian, he pressed his mouth to the outstretched fingers, kissing them softly, before parting his lips and stroking him with his tongue.

Ian felt his whole body quiver. Mickey continued to move his tongue and lips against his fingers, eventually trapping them in his mouth.

He slowly let them slide out of his mouth and kissed them one last time without Ian managing to take his eyes off him.

“Fuck-”

The creak of the main door echoed throughout the cabin, freezing Ian and Mickey in place.

They both knew that the thin wooden wall protected them very few from the people coming and going in the church, but for a moment they had completely forgotten about the world around them, and now that this world had remembered them, Mickey was convinced that Ian was going to run away.

But as if to prove him wrong, Ian chooses this moment to get off his pants and boxers with one move.

Mickey immediately returned his attention to young Gallagher.

A little too embarrassed by the pile of fabric at his ankles, and for fear of falling backward at the slightest movement, he preferred to take off his shoes and finish getting rid of this too embarrassing garment, ending up half-naked in front of Ian still kneeling behind him.

Despite the proximity of the voices he heard on the other side of the door, Ian didn't want to turn around in any way. He had imagined for years how it would feel to sleep with someone, and after the state that simple kisses with Mickey had put him in, he couldn't stop there.

He wrapped his fingers around the base of Mickey's cock, realizing at that point the reality of what he was doing, and his overwhelming urge to continue.

Without further ado, he put his lips to Mickey's erection, kissing his tight skin, and stroking it with his tongue, trying to imitate what Mickey had done as well as possible. He quickly slid his hand back and forth along his erection, then parted his lips enough to take his penis in his mouth.

To avoid letting out an involuntary moan, Mickey clapped his hand against his mouth. Ian was definitely good at this sort of thing. It might have been his first time, but he was a really good student.

Ian looked up and was instantly reassured by the expression on Mickey's face, motivating him even more to apply himself.

Ian kept moving his head back and forth, each time pushing Mickey into his mouth a little more, letting his hand move back and forth over the part he couldn't reach.

Mickey pressed his hand to Ian's cheek, hesitating between stopping him so he wouldn't cum too soon, and letting him continue until he couldn't hold back and cum in his mouth.

Even though he had managed to say unnoticed until now, they still remained in a public place where anyone could catch them at any time. Otherwise, he would have let Ian go all the way, but unfortunately, he was playing against time this time around.

Ian felt Mickey pull back until he was completely out of his mouth, and looked up in panic at the thought that he had done something wrong.

"Get up." Mickey ordered in a low voice.

Ian immediately obeyed, and Mickey kissed him as soon as he came within reach, immediately reassuring Ian.

Instinctively Ian wrapped his arms around Mickey's neck, cradling one of his palms to the back of Mickey's head to pull him a little closer.

The latter slid his hands between them to undo the tie of Ian's pants and pull his pants and his still wet underwear down enough to give him full access.

Ian was completely hard again, and Mickey couldn't help but feel amused and flattered by the reasons for this erection.

“You've got a boner by just giving me a blow job? Or because you know that they are right there, just behind that wall? Fucking kinky priest. ” Mickey whispered against Ian's lips.

Ian didn't have time to answer that Mickey had already wrapped his hand around his erection, gently moving his fingers back and forth against him making him groan.

"How can a priest be so well equipped?"

Ian tried his best to hold back the moans that Mickey's skillful hands create inside him.

Mickey smirked, satisfied with the expression on Ian's face and the shaking of his body against his. He felt the furious urge to force Ian to let out his moans to the point of drawing everyone around.

He slowly brought his face closer to Ian's ear to whisper against him.

“Too bad I don't have a ball gag with me… I'm sure you would look great with it in your mouth.”

He felt Ian stiffen against him more at the idea and felt overwhelmed by disappointment that he couldn't enjoy this body and the sensations it gave him just once.

Ian gripped the flaps of Mickey's shirt when Mickey pressed his lips to the skin of his neck, making him discover an erogenous zone he didn't even know he had.

"Mickey- I- Please-"

In the state Mickey had put it in, Ian was having a hard time forming a sentence of more than one word.

“Tell me what you want precisely.”

“Inside- You-”

Mickey knew Ian was unable to articulate more in his condition, and if he was, to be honest, he didn't want to wait any longer than he.

Mickey squeezed two of his fingers, moistened with Ian’s precum between his buttocks. 

He wasn't necessarily a fan of long preps and wasn't averse to a certain pain accompanying pleasure, but now that he knew what Ian was hiding in his pants, he knew he couldn't get past this step if he wanted to be able to sit down in the next few days, all the more since they could only use spit and they probably couldn't even count on the little lubricant a condom would have given them.

“Let me do it, please.”

Mickey looked at Ian, astonished at his request and the strange assurance that emanated from him at the time.

“Open your mouth for me…”

Obeying Ian, Mickey opened his mouth a crack, letting Ian insert his fingers, which he immediately began to moisten by running his tongue and lips over them.

Ian felt his body twitching as if every second Mickey could make him cum with the simple stroke of his tongue.

Satisfied with Mickey's job, and a little afraid to come before him again if he stayed that way any longer, Ian gently pulled his fingers away from Mickey's mouth, sliding them one last time against his lips.

He placed his hand on young Milkovich's lower back and slowly lowered it until the tips of his fingers pressed against his entrance.

He gently penetrated one of his fingers before just as smoothly moving it back and forth in Mickey. Feeling the young max relaxing around him, he repeated the operation, adding a second finger, slowly pulling them apart before bringing them together again.

“Enough.” Mickey said, grabbing Ian's wrist to force him to obey.

“Mickey-”

"It will be fine."

"Just a little more…" Ian pleaded, running his hand gently between Mickey's thighs, intentionally brushing his balls in the process.

Not perceiving any more sign of resistance from Mickey, Ian put his fingers inside him again. 

He knew they didn't have as much time as he wanted, but didn't want to let Mickey suffer because of his greed.

Ian flexed his fingers a little more, squeezing them without realizing it on Mickey's prostate, which reacted immediately.

"Stop! Don’t touch me there. ” He ordered, clutching Ian's rosary.

“Why?”

“I might come too soon.”

Normally Mickey would have let Ian continue without a problem, it was even difficult to order him to stop.

"It makes me want to continue even more. I'm sure you don’t know how erotic you look right now."

“It turns you on, mister the priest?”

Ian inhaled deeply. He wanted to rip his shirt off Mickey, kiss every inch of his chest, and trap his nipples between his lips, pinching and twisting them until his moans of pleasure alert someone.

Unfortunately, this was neither the place nor the place for it.

Ian curved his fingers inside Mickey, pressing them against his prostate again, forcing the young Milkovich to dig his fingers into Ian's shoulder instinctively.

Mickey could feel his whole body twitching.

Ian ran his free hand between him and Mickey and gently slid his thumb against the top of his penis.

"Look, you’re dripping. It’s sticky and thick on my finger ..."

The more time went on, the more confidence Ian gained in himself and about the amount of pleasure he could give Mickey.

"You're getting so excited with just my fingers. I need to know the expression you'll put on when I'm gonna slide something else inside of you."

"Stop talking and do it."

Mickey was still a little tight but they both know that they don't have much time.

“Put your arms around my neck.”

Mickey obeyed without grumbling. He wrapped his arms around Ian's neck, snuggling closer to him, and lifting his leg up against his hip to give him better access.

Ian squeezed his hand under Mickey's thigh, lifting him just enough that he could position himself under him and clamp the tip of his dick between Mickey's buttocks.

Mickey knew in advance that given Ian's size and his rather too sketchy preparation, he was bound to suffer at first, however his pride prevented him from telling Ian.

Ian leaned against Mickey a little more, letting the latter slowly descend against him, before slipping into him violently with a quick swipe of his hip.

Mickey clung to Ian a little tighter, putting his mouth against his shoulder to stifle his moans.

"Feel so good to be inside you. I can feel you everywhere around me."

"Start moving- Slowly. I feel like this thing is going to tear me in two-"

"I can withdraw if it hurts-"

"Don't even dare think about it! I just need a little more time."

Ian was impressed. Even speaking in a low voice so as not to be heard from outside the confessional, Mickey still managed to be so impressive and spellbinding.

“Start to move, but slowly.” Mickey said, deciding to let go of his pride and be a little honest with Ian.

Ian readjusted his hand against Mickey's thigh, pressing his free hand against the back of his head, running his fingers through his hair. He pulled back slowly before coming back to snuggle up against Mickey, squeezing himself into him again. He repeated this movement once more, then another, each time going a little further in Mickey.

Feeling Ian speed up, Mickey gripped Ian's rosary tightly and pulled him closer to kiss him, moaning inside his mouth.

Ian lost his balance a bit, and like Mickey's foot, his arm banged against the confessional wall, but neither the risk of attracting people nor the awkward position made them slow.

Mickey could feel Ian's fingernails marking the flesh of his thigh, accompanying the gentle pain Ian was giving him as he moved faster and faster inside him.

“Mickey- I'm going-”

Unable to finish this sentence, Ian cum hard inside Mickey, violently pressing their bodies against each other. Mickey, also exhausted, imitated him seconds later, staining long white streaks on Ian's shirt.

* - * - *

Mickey closed the door of his car, and sighed, looking at the road in front of him. 

Leaving Ian the day before had been far more difficult than he had imagined, and now that he was about to leave town, he couldn't help but think of him.

He jumped when he heard the door next to him open, and instantly turned to see what was going on.

“What are you doing here?” He growled as he saw Ian climb up next to him.

“Yesterday you left without saying goodbye.” He said as if that answer was obvious.

"And?" Mickey questioned, trying to hide the shame he felt after fleeing without a word.

He had initially thought about staying until Ian came out of the confessional in his turn, but fear seized him when he realized he was questioning his departure from Chicago because of this guy, and he had run away.

Ian settled into the passenger seat and tossed a large travel bag in the backseat before fixing his gaze in front of him, too confused to explain his actions by looking Mickey in the eye.

“I followed you to this house… But I left without speaking to you when I saw the other guy. You said you were leaving this morning but didn't give a time, so I waited for you to get into the car... "

"Get out!"

“Nope. I decided to go with you. "

"What?!? And then what do you do with your priestly school? And then you don't even know where I'm going! So get out!”

"I thought about it-"

“Get out of my car!”

“Fuck, Mickey! Are you going to let me talk?!? ”

“Since when do priests have the right to swear?”

“I've told you a thousand times already, I'm not a priest. And I no longer intend to become one... I have thought about it well and I can't honestly become a priest when I do not share many of the values that are taught to them. "

“Like, you don't believe in God anymore?!?”

"I do. I still believe in God. But I believe in a God who accepts people for who they are without judging them on who they love. I still believe in God, but not in what men make him say. ”

“Even if you don't become a priest, I don't see the connection with me.”

“It’s your fault if I realized my mistake. If you hadn't come to my church, I would surely be on my way to seminary. "

Mickey arched an eyebrow and Ian clarified, amused.

"The school for priests."

"It was you who attracted me to this confessional, not me..."

“It's pretty funny to see you playing the innocent… Either way, you have no choice. Outside of the church, I have nothing to hold back here. I no longer have any family or friends. "

“What about Father McSomething?”

“I already know what he'll say if he finds out about my decision, and I know I'm not going to enjoy his speech, so we both might as well avoid this bad time. I know he was the one who raised me, but I don't think he ever loved me, at least not for who I really was. And then at least by escorting you, I could maybe help you change... "

“If you are hoping to help me enter Heaven, you can already forget this idea. If these guys really decide, I have a direct ticket already booked to hell. And despite all your goodwill, you are likely to accompany me there. "

“That's fine. I've always preferred places where the weather is really warm.”

“We've only known each other for a few days, you don't even know my last name. So why would I take care of you? ”

"Because I could take care of you back." Affirmed Ian with a smirk.

"I find it hard to believe that you wanted to become a priest a few days ago..."

Ian pulled gently on his collar to remove the last traces of his future as a priest.

“Don't throw this stuff away!”

"Why?"

"For nothing, keep it that's all."

"I do not believe it. Do you like it? ”

"Stop pissing me off with these questions, and buckle up."

Mickey started the engine at full speed, dashing out of town without a glance back.

Like Ian, he left nothing behind. And although he didn't know what the future might hold for him with an almost-priest by his side, it could only be more interesting than his past.


End file.
